Ass-Pects of the Zodiac: Rumpological Connections to Astrology

Many people find my work in Rumpology to be highly amusing, and even downright ridiculous. But can Rumpology be so easily dismissed? As I state on my Website: Jacqueline Stallone – Astrology-Psychic , in the Rumpology section, Rumpology is not only an ancient system of divination (as is Palm Reading) but it is more.

“Rumpology (or butt reading) is the art of reading the lines, crevices, dimples, and folds of the buttocks to divine the individual’s character and gain an understanding of what has occurred in the past.”

By looking at the full rump (cheeks and glutteal cleft), it is possible to understand a person’s past and get a glimpse of their most likely future based on the personality that their rump reveals.

Is this so odd? People have been using body parts and other items for divination for centuries. Palmistry is a highly recognized divination system as are tea leaves and “bones” castings. Why would a deck of cards, such as the Tarot, provide more intimate information about you than your own body, yet people use these systems all the time?

This article focuses on Rumpology and how it can relate to the signs of the Zodiac. You may be surprised to find certain amazing correlations!

As all astrologers know, and many devotees understand, there are twelve houses in the Zodiac, and each house has characteristics that describe the personality of the person born under the sign. While Astrology is very complex, we can deal with it here in much simpler, overall terms. Remember that each sign of the Zodiac can describe aspects of a personality. There are “ass-related” terms that ties in with this, terms that are in common use in language, something we don’t think about much but use all the time as slang. Consider your own birth sign, how others perceive you, and see how well the word I have “ass-igned” to your sign fits your personality type!

The tables below list the Sign of the Zodiac, its ruling planet, positive personality characteristics, negative personality characteristics and finally the Ass-trological Ass-Pect.

Please keep in mind that the words used in the positive and negative characteristics can be difficult to interpret. I take them from my descriptors in my book on Astrology: StarPower, from all three decans for each sign of the zodiac. (See the LINKS section below for more information on my book).

For example: militant (under Aries). Militant can suggest rigid, dogmented, aggressive, but it can also suggest steadfast, loyal, constant. Words have MANY meanings, so please keep them in mind, and if necessary, use a Thesaurus (there are many on-line) to help you understand WHY I use the descriptors that I do in my tables.

This will also help you understand the complex meaning of the commonly used Ass-Pect descriptor (in the case of an Aries – TOUGH ASS), giving you additional insight not only into the personality of an Aries individual, but also how subtle and intricate a simple slang term can be! What does tough mean? How does it align to the descriptors I have provided? Tough can easily apply to one who is militant (you have to be tough to maintain an air of militancy) but it can also mean strong.

Most of all, enjoy!

Zodiac Sign: ARIES

Ruling Planet: Mars

Positive Characteristics: militant, potent, protector, goal oriented

Negative Characteristics: strong, hard, stubborn, intolerant, overbearing, impulsive

Ass-Pect Term: TOUGH ASS

Zodiac Sign: PISCES

Ruling Planet: Neptune

Positive Characteristics: generous, self confident, impulsive

Negative Characteristics: arrogant, indecisive, inconsistent

Ass-Pect Term: LEAD ASS

Zodiac Sign: TAURUS

Ruling Planet: Venus

Positive Characteristics: beauty, luxurious, self indulging, common sense, accomplishment

Negative Characteristics: grasping, controlling, greedy, anal retentive, obstinate, selfish

Ass-Pect Term: STIFF ASS

Zodiac Sign: GEMINI

Ruling Planet: Mercury

Positive Characteristics: risk taker, intuitive, persuasive

Negative Characteristics: insecure, judgmental, uncommitted

Ass-Pect Term: HALF ASS

Zodiac Sign: CANCER

Ruling Planet: Moon

Positive Characteristics: creative, secretive, paternal, nest builder

Negative Characteristics: insecure, emotionally dependent, sulking, withdrawn, side-stepper

Ass-Pect Term: CANDY ASS

Zodiac Sign: LEO

Ruling Planet: Sun

Positive Characteristics: egotistical, forgiving, courageous, crisis manager

Negative Characteristics: temper, flattery, vain, imposing, leader, taciturn technician

Ass-Pect Term: FAT ASS

Zodiac Sign: VIRGO

Ruling Planet: Mercury

Positive Characteristics: ultra efficient, critical, compassionate, principled, survivorship

Negative Characteristics: untouchable, demanding, martyrdom, celestial virgin

Ass-Pect Term: SWEET ASS

Zodiac Sign: LIBRA

Ruling Planet: Venus

Positive Characteristics: diplomatic, justice thinker, esthetic, artistic brainiac, balance, order

Negative Characteristics: gossipy, requires validation, flip flopper, indecisive

Ass-Pect Term: FLAT ASS

Zodiac Sign: SCORPIO

Ruling Planet: Mars

Positive Characteristics: accomplishes tasks, pioneer spirit, generosity, loyalty

Negative Characteristics: unforgiving, vengeful, spiteful

Ass-Pect Term: BAD ASS

Zodiac Sign: SAGITTARIUS

Ruling Planet: Jupiter

Positive Characteristics: expansive, engaging, self motivated, competitive, pedal to the metal, honorable, over responsible

Negative Characteristics: gabby, foot in mouth problems, poor loser, self deprecating, self indulgent

Ass-Pect Term: HORSE’S ASS

Zodiac Sign: CAPRICORN

Ruling Planet: Saturn

Positive Characteristics: dependable, non judgmental, unidirectional, non sinners

Negative Characteristics: cheap, stingy, non self critical, secretive, whiny, want guaranteed sure thing

Ass-Pect Term: TIGHT ASS

Zodiac Sign: AQUARIUS

Ruling Planet: Uranus

Positive Characteristics: dedicated, spiritual, clairvoyant, artistic, egotistical

Negative Characteristics: hot air specialists, best laid plans for naught, inconsistent, gossipy

Ass-Pect Term: SMART ASS

Divination of any kind is a complex system used to understand human personality and how the Universe interacts and affects it. The human body, a Universe all its own, is also a wonderful guide to the individual’s personality as well and makes an excellent divination system in its own right.

Although we may have cultural norms dictating how we think of various aspects of our body (i.e. modesty rules) these do not change the fact that we all have a complete body and that all the parts of the body work together to tell the most complex story of all, the story of our lives.

Rumpology takes the study of the human body as a divination tool beyond the cultural norms and looks as the less approved of areas that are none the less significant in helping us understand ourselves, our nature, and thus our possible futures. While the “Ass” is always behind us (Pun intended), it is nevertheless a powerful indicator of who we are and most importantly WHY we are who we are.

For more information about Rumpology, please see the Links Section below.